Today is the kind of day that I just want to stay cozied up in bed. Days like this bring to your mind a lot of sadness, but a lot of realization as well.
I believe there are good ways and there are bad ways to be selfish. A good way, for example, would be wanting to spend your day off alone, relaxing, with no one bugging you. Another good way would be walking away from a situation or a person that isn’t treating you right. Examples of bad ways to be selfish: having your cake and eating it too, giving in to temptations, lying because you want something instead of just walking away, etc. These people think about no one but themselves before acting.
There are too many people out there that are selfish in bad ways. A lot of those people are hard to pinpoint until something bad has already happened, until the damage has already been done.
One piece of advice I will give those bad, selfish people is…go ahead and give into temptation - if you’re not strong enough to control yourself. Go ahead and lie, but before doing so, walk away and leave anyone alone that you could potentially hurt by making the decisions you make and taking the actions you take. Keeping someone in your life because they care for you, because they’re good for you, because they make you happy and feel good when you’re around them and because you miss them on occasion…isn’t okay if you don’t actually share mutual feelings for them. It isn’t okay to have your cake and eat it too. And if you do have mutual feelings for them, get your shit together – to put it as nicely as possible.
I have met many people in my life that have everything they could ever want in a person, but still want more just because. Because they can’t control themselves, so they give in to temptation. Because they are selfish. If you’re on the receiving end of the hurt, you aren’t off the hook. Even though you aren’t the main problem, it does become a problem when you continue to let yourself take that treatment from someone. It goes back to loving and respecting yourself.
I know firsthand that it isn’t easy walking away from someone you love…especially when they make you believe that they care. They might care, but only on the surface and only for a moment…because most of the time, inside they are only looking out for themselves. They are only trying to get their fix. I have met people throughout my life that had the nerve to question my love because I wouldn’t stick around and deal with their abuse. Is that love? Again, this goes back to loving and respecting yourself.
Love is never easy. But good things don’t come easy, right? Now, I’m not saying that someone who is selfish in a bad way couldn’t change…but it is a rare occasion. Because most of the time, they don’t want you the way you want them, and they never will. So, the best thing you can do is be strong and don’t give in to YOUR temptation…which is them. It isn’t easy, and it takes time.
You have to know what you truly want. Can you just be friends with someone you’ve loved deeply? Can you handle the thought of them with some else? Do you have to cut them off cold turkey? Do you have to throw away every memory you’ve shared with them? Find out what you truly want and how you’re going to get it. Don’t you settle for less than what you want and deserve because you are incredible.
Loving someone unconditionally is harder than not loving at all. Loving someone unconditionally and walking away from them is even harder.
But you will come out on top. You will become whole again. I promise. Keep your soul beautiful, never stop loving, never stop feeling ten times harder than other people do. Because you will leave a mark. You will not be forgotten.
We have to treat each other the way that we would want to be treated. It is THAT simple. Why is it so hard for so many people?